5 Ways To Give Away Your Power + Never Find Happiness

 “How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.”

~ Wayne Dyer

Be warned.

This is not one of my usual positive, inspiring posts.

Your buttons might be pushed by what you’ll read here. Perhaps that means you’re not ready to see yourself in these examples, but you’ll definitely see people you know in them.

Some people may read this and think it’s written directly to them, which just means they recognise this way of thinking in themselves – and awareness is the first step to creating shifts.

This article is aimed at mindsets.

The scarcity mindset that convinces us we aren’t enough, and the victim mentality that traps us in fear.

It’s important to realize that the scarcity and victim mindsets are separate from who we really are.

Who you are, lovely, is so much more than enough.

Who you are, is love.

I wrote this to spark awareness within everyone who reads it.

Again, awareness is the first step to creating shifts.

The moment we become aware of these disempowering and fear-based mindsets, we can endeavor to transform our lives from the inside out.

We can choose love instead of fear. A Course In Miracles calls this shift a miracle.

And the more people who choose love and let go of fear, the better our world will be.

5 Ways To Give Away Your Power + Never Find Happiness

1. Blame Others For Everything

The state of the world. The price of petrol. The entire male population.

Whoever or whatever it is, be sure to lay blame on anyone and anything for your challenges.

Blame God for your problems.

Blame junk food for your ill health.

Blame the checkout chick at the supermarket for the price of bananas.

Blame your parents, your ex, the economy, the president.

Let little things ruin your day.

Don’t take responsibility for your choices, actions or experience of life.

Don’t choose happiness.

Don’t forgive.

And whatever you do, don’t you dare move on.


“It’s not my fault!”


The beauty of having our own minds and our own perceptions is this…

You can choose what to focus on.

No-one else has that power over you.

Yes, sometimes things happen that are painful. For a time, blaming helps us deal with the hurt and the anger we feel.

But the longer we hold on to our hate, the more of our power we give away, and the more pain we create for ourselves and those we love.

Acceptance and forgiveness are the greatest healers.

“All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won’t succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy. ”

~ Wayne Dyer


2. Play The Damsel In Distress

While you’re blaming everyone, make sure they stick around long enough to hear you list the reasons why your life is so much worse than theirs.

Add a few of these reliable gems:

“Why me?”

“Just my luck!”

“Life’s unfair.”

Try to repeat yourself, tell your story to anyone who’ll listen.

When people inevitably stop listening to you, put it on Facebook or Twitter. Better yet, email people and tell them all about it, too!

Misery loves company, so the more people you spread your message to, the better!


“Life is so unfair!”


Life is not fair or unfair. It just is.

You decide what to make of it.

You can decide to shift your perspective and see the gift or the lesson in everything.

The more you focus on all the reasons your life sucks, the more reasons you’ll get to add to that list.

To shift that perspective, the more you focus on all the reasons your life rocks, the more reasons you’ll get to add to that list, too.

“As long as you think that the cause of your problem is “out there” – as long as you think that anyone or anything is responsible for your suffering – the situation is hopeless. It means that you are forever in the role of victim, that you’re suffering in paradise.”

~ Byron Katie

3. Wait To Be Saved

A great thing about playing the Damsel In Distress is that the damsel always gets saved in the end… Right?

Chances are, if you spend enough time waiting around feeling hopeless, your Knight In Shining Armour will ride in and save you from the Tower Of Limiting Beliefs you’ve built for yourself.

Your Knight can be anyone you want… 

A tall, dark and handsome someone.

Someone who inspires you.

A celebrity (who you know would change everything for you, if only they took the time to hear your story or even just re-tweet you!)

God. (or the Universe, or Buddha, whatever calls to you)

Let’s hope you can stop shouting your woes long enough to recognise your Knight and let him/her into your life!

Otherwise you might have to put on your big girl panties and actually save yourself! GASP!


“If only…”, “I wish…” or even “One day…”


Be your own hero, girl!

No-one else can save you.

People will try. They will give you as much advice, tools and inspiration they can muster – but if you’re not willing to help yourself, it will all be pointless.

The amazingly wonderful news?

You totally can save yourself.

You absolutely can own your power.

All it takes is commitment, patience, and willingness to seek what is good.

The even more amazingly wonderful news?

You can start being your own hero right now, this very second.

The power is yours.

“You’re the leader you’ve been waiting for.”

~ Maria Shriver

4. Aim Low, Stay Comfortable

You’ve already convinced yourself that life’s not fair and everyone is out to get you, and you’re feeling pretty damn comfy in your Tower Of Limiting Beliefs, so why bother aiming for anything better?

Dreams are overrated.

Happiness is for hippies.

Success is for greedy fat-cats.

Love is for suckers.

And self-love is just a myth, created by the woo-woo personal development industry in a ploy to steal all your hard-earned money. How dare they try to help you like yourself.

And taking action? That’s just plain hard.

You’ll actually have to get up and do what you say you’re going to do.

Mediocrity, however. That’s super easy.

And whenever you see anyone reaching for anything higher than comfortable, be sure to shoot them down quick-smart!

Once you’ve committed to being and having less-than, everyone around must do the same – even your children – otherwise they threaten to knock down your Tower Of Limiting Beliefs, where you’re so cosy!

Besides, you’re only being realistic.

Not everyone can be happy.

There’s not enough abundance in this world for everyone!

Remember: Criticism is just as easy as mediocrity – in fact the two practically go hand-in-hand!

Whatever you do, stay trapped in your scarcity mindset, play the victim, and pull anyone in there with you whenever you can.


“It’s just the way it is.” Or the ever popular, “I can’t…”


Aim high, superwoman!

Get clear on what you truly want in your life, then go out there and get it!

There is enough abundance for everyone.

Love, happiness, success and self-love can be yours.

The only thing stopping you is your Tower Of Limiting Beliefs, and that can be knocked down in one quick shift of perception.

Be a cheerleader for others.

Support people in achieving their dreams, celebrate the victories of those you love.

When you see people reach their goals, it’s more inspiration and motivation for you to do the same, and they’ll likely cheer you on, too!

“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”

~ Brian Littrell

5. Complain About Your Situation, But Don’t Do Anything About It

Constantly remind yourself, and others, how powerless you are to change anything in your life.

Complaining is the best way to do this.

Most importantly, do NOT do anything at all to change your situation or try to overcome your challenges.

That’s the responsibility of your Knight In Shining Armour, the Government, or the lady at the Post Office – anyone but you!

And for those things you physically can’t do anything about, complain about them anyway!

Don’t move on, make peace or shift your focus.

Hold on to your anger for as long as you can.


“There’s nothing I can do.”


Know that you can handle anything that comes your way, and then handle it!

Rather than waste time complaining about your situation, do whatever you can to change it.

Even the smallest of steps can make you feel empowered, and that feeling will motivate you to take the next small step, and so on.

If it’s something you physically can’t do anything about, you can at least change the way you see it.

Make peace and move on to something better.

“Action is the foundational key to all success.”

~ Pablo Picasso

Creating The Shift: From Scarcity To Abundance

There you have it. Those are the top five ways to give away your power and never find happiness.

I’m sure you’re familiar with all of them, as am I.

Not too long ago, I was trapped in scarcity and victim mindsets that had me living out all those examples every moment of every day.

To top it all off, I only surrounded myself with people who were trapped along with me.

Can you imagine our conversations?

Hours and hours of woe-is-me-ings, swapping notes on how much life sucks, and having “You think that’s bad! Guess what happened to me!” competitions.

I felt hopeless, powerless and useless.

I spent years living high up in my very own Tower Of Limiting Beliefs.

I sat up there, all cosy in my blanket of mediocrity, spewing blame and criticism while waiting to be saved.

I played the Damsel In Distress role until it almost destroyed my relationships with those I love.

Today, I view the world through a completely different mindset.

A mindset of positivity, empowerment and abundance.

No, I’m not preaching perfectionism over here.

I still catch myself complaining more than I’d like, and I still have thoughts that stem from fear, but I’m aware enough now that I can choose whether or not to listen to those thoughts or reach for something better.

The most powerful shift I’ve experienced is this…

I know I am so much more than enough.

I have infinite magic and value to offer the world. I absolutely love being me. It’s awesome!

As soon as I started to see my magnificence and own my power, the Universe acted accordingly.

Once you know that you are more than enough, you will have more than enough.

Making the shift from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset is a beautiful gift to give yourself and to the world.

Are you ready to make the shift?

P.S. Know someone who needs to read this, lovely? I would love for you to share it with them.

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