How To Love Yourself When Everything Sucks.


I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.

Self-love  is  the  foundation  to  everything  good.

The more people who love themselves, the better our world will be.

That doesn’t mean it’s not hard. Of course it’s hard. Especially if all you know is how to hate yourself, call yourself names and focus on the negatives.

But it’s oh-so-worth it. I know from experience.

I used to hate myself.

Loathe myself.

Everyday I wished I was someone else. I constantly compared myself to others and wondered what part of my DNA was so wrong that I ended up being such a mammoth loser.

These are the kind of thoughts that filled my mind, body and soul only three years ago.

Now, everything is different.

I love who I am. I love my life. I’ve come a very long way since then and I wouldn’t even recognize the person I used to be.


I still battle self-doubt every day.

My mind still habitually conjures up negative thoughts about my body every now and then, purely because it’s conditioned to do so.

I still compare myself to others much more than I care to admit.

I take things way too personally.

But with every self-doubt, every negative thought, every comparison and every moment I feel rejected or my heart sinks, I get stronger. I’m aware of it enough to recognize that it’s not my truth, it’s my ego.

Sometimes, the acts of self-love we need the most aren’t a daily green juice or a weekly massage.

Sometimes it’s just giving yourself a break. Saying to yourself, “Today, no matter what happens, I’m going to put my own happiness first,” and sticking to it.

If that means going for a run and journaling your heart out, do it.

If it means spending a day on the couch watching Breaking Bad, do it.

If it means taking a long, hot bath by candlelight and staying in there for hours, do it.

If it means dancing around your living room in your underwear to Alanis Morissette… DO IT!

{I recommend doing that last one anyway. It’s hella fun.}

One  act  of  self-love,  no  matter  how  small,  can  change  everything.

{Click to tweet this}

It can brighten your day, shift your perspective and inspire change.

Doing one thing that makes you feel good will make you realise that things don’t suck nearly as much as you thought they did, probably not even at all.

One of the reasons I love creating Wild Sister Mag every month is because I know reading it is an act of self-love for so many women.

I know it forces women who are always giving to take time out for themselves, make themselves a cup of tea and just chill the hell out.

More than that, it reminds women of their beauty and strength, inspires them to love themselves, and creates bonds of sisterhood between women who will never meet.

For more selfish reasons, I love creating Wild Sister Mag because when I read through the submissions, they remind me of my own beauty and strength, and inspires me to love myself more and more with each edition.

I have to read those articles every month, even when I don’t particularly feel like it. And they always leave me with new perspectives, new ideas and fresh inspiration. I always feel so damn good afterwards.

Reading Wild Sister is an act of self-love for me, too.

I’ll be honest, I’m not feeling awesome today. Chalk it up to being tired, overly sensitive and comparing myself too early in the morning.

But I wanted to come on here and talk about self-love anyway, because it’s days like these when I need it most.

It’s one thing to show love and kindness to yourself when you’re feeling stellar and everything is awesome, but showing love and kindness to yourself when things suck takes real strength and wisdom. {Click to tweet this}

Today,  these  are  the  acts  of  self-love  I’m  going  to  do  for  myself:

  •  Do my work for the day and make it fun (not hard considering I love my job)
  •  Make time to read in the afternoon
  •  Spend tonight watching Breaking Bad while cuddling on the couch with my love

Those acts may seem small and boring to some, but that’s what I need right now. So that’s what I’ll do.

In fact, just sitting down to write this post is an act of self-love for me.

Writing is healing. I already feel lighter, brighter and clearer. My perspective has shifted. My inner awesomeness is shining through again, no longer blocked by fear and doubt. I chose love, and now I feel love, too.

Everyone’s path to self-love is different.

There’s no point forcing yourself into doing someone else’s self-love routine if it doesn’t make you feel good.

The bottom line is this:

Do  what  makes  you  happy.

The end.


P.S Need a new act of self-love to add to your routine? Try the new edition of Wild Sister.

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