How I Stopped Struggling + Connected With Real Abundance

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post by Stacie Whitney.

“I feel like I’m missing something!” I just blurted it out.

I was in a session with my healer, and we’d been trying to get to the root of the reason why money wasn’t flowing in freely in my life and business. Especially as I truly, in my heart, have believed in abundance and flow for years.

“Can you be more specific?” she asked me.

“I just feel like there’s this big puzzle and I’m missing a key piece – like there’s something I’m not seeing, or getting. Something I should be doing that I’m not.”

We explored this topic more in-depth, and combining her wisdom with her remarkable healing and intuitive abilities, I felt significantly better in the days following our session.

Three weeks later, I found myself in conversation with a friend about my diet. I was 3 months into my second pregnancy, and I was noticing some drastic aversions and cravings. I couldn’t eat wheat, gluten or most grains or pulses. And I was craving protein like a lioness on steroids.

Still finding my way through the maze of this new way of eating, I commented “I don’t know, I just feel like I’m missing something – some piece of relevant information…”

I stopped, mid-sentence. This sounded familiar.

“I’m missing something.”

I’d used this phrase before. Recently. Often.

In fact, I’d used it for years, referring to most aspects of my life.

I’d come to see it as my mantra.

If something wasn’t ‘falling into place’ the way I’d envisioned, I simply assumed I was ‘missing’ something.

If I couldn’t figure something out, it was just because I didn’t have that puzzle piece.

And if I didn’t know where I should live, or what part of my business to focus on, or had a disagreement with a friend..

Yup. I missed something.

And there, suddenly, in that early autumn sunlight, in the company of my dear, empathetic friend, I saw it.

“I’m missing something” is the ULTIMATE statement of lack.

It’s basically saying “I’m lacking something” every time I didn’t know, or immediately see the answer.

So this wild, abundant-thinking, free-flowing earth mama, had been walking around for years announcing to anyone who’d listen:


And then I’d wonder beyond all reason why on Earth the money wasn’t flowing.

Or I couldn’t locate my home.

Or I struggled SO much balancing my relationships, motherhood, work…

It was like some glorious Angel was hovering over my shoulder just waiting for her opportunity.

And when she sensed it was right, she smacked me square on the head (with a fluffy wing, so not too much collateral damage) and shouted…

“THERE! That’s it! That’s the ROOT of all your struggles, conflict, confusion! YOU BELIEVE IN YOUR OWN LACK AND INADEQUACY!!”

Bless you angel. And thank you from the bottom of my heart.

All this time, I was acting one thing, and SPEAKING another.

Language is incredibly powerful, and I’d come to believe my own statements of lack.

So all you dear, lovely goddesses out there, time to be brutally honest with yourselves. If you find that you’ve ever used that same phrase “I just feel like I’m missing something” or you’ve felt like you, too, were missing a puzzle piece, congrats on noticing it.

This is a HUGE step, because we can’t change what we don’t notice we’re doing!

Here’s what I’ve done to switch my thinking and move into alignment with my most beautiful life:

  • I’ve stopped using the phrase “I’m missing something” or any variation on that theme.
  • Anytime I catch myself in that thinking, I turn it around to what is REALLY the truth:
  • I’m NOT missing anything. In fact, all is exactly as it should be. I’m exactly where I should be with my biz/diet/motherhood/money/life.

And the beautiful thing is, that I actually believe this. It’s entirely true.

  •  My business is growing at its own pace.
  • I’m figuring out what foods suit my body more and more each day.
  • My abilities as a mother, and relationship with my daughter grow stronger and richer.
  • I am fortunate to live in a beautiful place, with people I love.
  • Any time I’m uncertain about something in any area of my life, I can tune in and discover what feels right.

Yes, there are thousands of incredible women entrepreneurs out there who are way ‘further ahead’ than I am – many of them even sell products which promise to help me cut corners, or grow my business in months to the place that took them years.

Tempting, perhaps, but I’ve realized that while business advice and coaching is essential, I need to experience my own journey – walk my own path. If I take a helicopter to the summit instead of walking the path myself, I won’t be able to absorb and embody the crucial info along the way.

I need the journey. The richness. The relationships. The truth, which lines the path like gemstones, just waiting to be gathered along the way. It makes me who I am – each step feeds into the next.

This applies to every single area of my life.

There’s no sense envying others for being further along – their voyages are their own. Each of us is so individual, and our stunning uniqueness is best discovered on our pilgrimages in life.

A formula may feel tempting, but it leads us into being someone who is… well…formulaic!

So next time you notice your envy of someone who is ‘further’ than you, stop for a minute and ask yourself if that’s really true.

Are they really further, or are they just on their own path?

Are you really lacking? Or are you discovering what it means to be YOU for yourself?

And then…

Remind yourself that you are exactly where you need to be in order to learn YOUR lessons.

{Click to tweet this}

You don’t need to strive for something you don’t have. You don’t need to ambitiously whip yourself to get somewhere else.

Just take a deep breath, be fully where you are, and take each step in the direction that inspires YOU.

Keep this up and you’ll find it’s impossible to be missing anything at all.


IMAG0686Stacie Whitney is a wife, mother, author and creative muse.

She overcame postnatal depression, panic attacks and a lifetime of restlessness, to create her business, which is devoted to helping Mamas with a creative heart, who feel that little niggle and are looking for ‘More.’ She helps them discover what’s missing and take action so they can feel radiant, fulfilled, and blissfully excited about their lives.

You can sign up on her website,, to get regular inspiration & updates (and your free gift).

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