Editor’s Note: this is a guest post by Nicole Perhne.
“The Fairy Tales always had this guy coming to the rescue. In real life, you don’t actually need to be rescued by anyone. Whatever is in your life that’s causing unhappiness, accept it, remove it, or remove yourself from it. Now there’s a guaranteed happily ever after… knight or no knight.”
– Doe Zantamata
In this day and age there’s a myriad of articles out there about ‘how to meet Mr. Right,’ ‘how to make yourself irresistible,’ or ‘how to find him and keep him.’ Take a look around and you will see messages everywhere splashed across the covers of magazines, plastered on the sides of buses and strategically placed ads in the sidebars on social media; subliminal messages left, right and center and are all catered towards finding, having and keeping the perfect man or as we more infamously know him, our ‘knight in shining armour’.
Although I’m a hopeless romantic (it’s the Virgo in me), today I’m here to challenge the status quo, to encourage you to put those subliminal ideas on pause and wholeheartedly invite you to enter into the best relationship you’ve ever had and become your own knight in shining armour.
When we were younger many of us most likely dreamt about being swept off our feet (and perhaps still do), meeting our soul mate; our forever guy and then pinned all our hopes and dreams on that relationship being “the one” and being the pivotal source of our happiness (I believe Mr. Walt Disney played a large role in this).
As we started growing up and identifying the difference between a fairytale and reality, that search for our true mate possibly resembled that of someone searching for a needle in a haystack and quickly our hopes and dreams appeared seemingly unobtainable; and if and when we were fortunate enough to fall in love with someone truly, madly, deeply, it often came with a barrage of expectations and preconceived ideas that left us feeling completely disillusioned about love…
No more I say. No more disillusionment; no more needles in haystacks, just stacks of unequivocal irrevocable love with ourselves.
I want you to shimmy-shake into a new realm of possibility and create an unadulterated love affair with yourself; to blissfully fall head over heels in love with the wonderful woman you are, as you are now (not when you lose those pesky extra kilos, not when you master the never-ending ‘to-do list,’ and certainly not when someone else rides up on a white horse and ‘validates’ you), and recognise that no amount of money spent on beauty products, designer clothes or cleverly marketed books aimed at the doe-eyed are the answer to finding the infamous Mr. Right.
This notion of “Mr. Right” can send the average female on a wild goose chase (aka man hunt) instead of establishing fundamental fulfillment and love, which ultimately comes from within.
If we can master the art of self-love + self-acceptance we will undeniably see that we are not wounded girls with broken dreams, + we certainly don’t need to be rescued by anyone else.
Let’s kick this outdated notion to the curb and create a wild and free relationship with numero uno, which will inevitably be the most beautiful, fulfilling and rich relationship we’ve ever experienced.
5 Ways To Become Your Own Knight In Shining Armour:
1. Who says we have to wait for someone to tell us we are beautiful? Look at yourself in the mirror every single day and cherish yourself by saying, “I love and accept you deeply and completely. You are beautiful.”
2. Who says we need to wait for a romantic partner until we can feel sexy and sensual? Pull out that pair of sexy French knickers, line your luscious lips with a bright red lipstick and slowly eat a piece of your favourite chocolate.
3. Fancy going on a date but don’t have anyone to take you on one? Take your wonderful self on a date to one of your favourite places be it a restaurant, picnic spot or to the movies. Focus on doing things that you love (and the best part? You won’t have to share that piece of (raw) cake for desert with anyone else!).
4. Think champagne is only for celebrating engagements or anniversaries? Nonsense! Celebrate your amazing self and while you’re at it, why not double up on the bubbles and indulge in a long bubble bath.
5. Make an amazing feast for yourself; light those candles, pull out your favourite bed sheets, treat yourself to that massage or night away – simply because you’re worth it; because love can be infinite and present every single day in your life regardless of whether your ‘knight in shining armour’ is by your side or not.
We often forget to take care of our own needs, naively thinking when someone else comes along, they’ll wave a magic wand over everything and be our rescuer, our prince or knight in shining armour.
Isn’t it about time we learned once and for all how to rescue ourselves, to self-soothe and self-love, to celebrate the wild and divine goddess that resides within each and every one of us?
I learned a tough but necessary lesson from an extremely difficult break up last year; that when, and only when we learn to love and accept ourselves deeply and completely, will we be in fact, complete.
There I stood, beside my knight, my prince charming and yet it didn’t work. Why? Because I hadn’t yet learned to look after and love myself, and no one can do that for us, not even a devilishly handsome man on a white horse.
Perhaps when I humbly decide to recommence my search for that special one, rather than looking for the one who sweeps me off my feet and is dressed head to toe in armour, I will opt for the unwavering love that firmly plants my soles to the ground whilst leaving a footprint on my heart. Perhaps you will do the same.
Nicole Perhne is a certified Holistic Health & Life Coach, Reiki practitioner, and writer. Her mission is to empower women to fall in love with themselves, reclaim their identity, and start creating the life they so richly deserve.
Through her supportive and transformative coaching, she works with intelligent yet unfulfilled, stressed out and self-love seeking women helping them quantum leap into their power and tune into their heart’s true north to achieve more, worry less, pursue their passion and build their dream life.
Nicole’s much anticipated eBook ’14 Ways to create more peace, love and clarity in your life, without needing to visit an ashram or meet Mr. Right’ is due for release soon. Be the first to find out when it’s released at www.nicoleperhne.com and make sure you jump on the waiting list so you don’t miss out.
You also might like to read Nicole’s article, “Have you fallen out of love with yourself?”
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