Editor’s Note: This is a guest post by Sharyn Holmes.
This is a little tale about how it took me more than half my life to realise that being a starter/non-finisher has been the greatest gift to my creativity.
Creativity fires me up from the inside out.
I can feel it in the pit of my stomach, it’s like when you take a dip in the ocean for the first time in ages and the water hits your stomach and instead of bracing yourself against the temperature of the water, you welcome the exhilaration because it’s joy, laughter, freshness, freedom and fun rolled into one.
Through exploration of self, you can discover that creativity holds the key to healing and limitless potential.
I have undertaken many art practices, and my unfinished canvases number around 27. I have delved my body, heart and soul into watercolours, acrylics, ceramic painting, jewellery making, mixed media, experimental drawing, art journaling, collage, abstract painting, intuitive painting and even the performing arts variety – hula hooping and circus aerials over the last 20 years. I was always creative as a child – I loved weaving and making big pictures on the rolls of paper my Dad would bring home from work. I once made a bracelet from red wool and ring pulls from my Dad’s beer cans!
Creativity is freedom and when I create, I remember the childlike wonder and excitement of living in the present moment. Living in the present moment is something which, as adults, we have to re-learn and strive towards. Life is not always easy. For many adults, neither is creativity. I have met many people who don’t think they are creative or artistic at all.
I know that there is a lot of fear about making art and as humans there is a tendency to strive for some kind of perfection. Creativity is an opportunity to let loose, to break free from the constraints of everyday life.
The title of this article is an Osho quote. I feel these words to my very core. I know they are truth. By being creative, accepting that I am an artist and guiding others creatively, I am helping to create a rebellion of sorts and my intention is to guide people into their own inner creative rebellion.
When you draw, paint or create there is no limit and there really are no rules unless you impose them upon yourself or listen to the voice within you that says “No”. Creativity is lifeblood and whether we deem ourselves creative or not, we all have an inner creative fire waiting to burst forth.
Once I started art journaling a few years ago, I realised there was a whole world of creativity inside of me that was ready to be born, if only I allowed it.
If I only gave myself the permission to break free from convention and the ‘not good enoughs’ that riddled my thoughts. It was the creative practice of art journaling which helped me on my path to self-acceptance and claiming my creative fire. Gutsy Girl was born. The name is a tribute and inspiration to my daughter who declared to all who would listen that ‘Mummy is an Artist’. If she could so boldly declare and strongly believe it, I decided to be it, to embody the very Artist that I longed to be. However, there was more inner work to do. I still had inner battles to overcome as I focused heavily on the fact that I had mastered no particular creative art and had no qualifications to speak of.
I began making art and creating jewellery for the handmade marketplace and the very act of this was an incredibly daunting process because I knew where the creations came from – the dark of my soul out into the light.
I had many moments, during the first two years, of self-doubt, self-hatred, and it is still hard to comprehend how tough I am on myself. My conscious awakening in 2014 brought to light that all these creative pursuits from childhood to now – my late 30’s, had a far greater purpose than I ever imagined: to aid my healing, to open up and trust my intuition and to share my gifts with others.
My transformation required a huge commitment from me.
In quick succession, healing was accelerated with reiki attunements, soul retrievals, shamanic journeywork and deep coaching. Most importantly to surrender to the unfolding that was taking place within even if it felt never-ending, difficult and painful.
Before I could silence the voice that sometimes says “You can do it!” the surrender brought forth Creative Fire. Creative Fire is a workshop experience birthed from my lifelong expedition through multiple creative interests using creativity as the vehicle for personal development and growth. The first event was held just a few weeks ago and I came to comprehend my soul purpose was not to just be an Artist but to shine the light on others so they can also accept and unfurl their artistic selves.
I look at my 27 unfinished canvases now and I laugh at myself, the girl who thought she was dabbler. I always was an Artist who was just waiting to truly wake up.
Photo by Bayleigh Vedelago
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