(Editor’s Note: This blog is a guest post by Rosie Baez)
As I stood in a Philadelphia Airbnb listening to people outside going wild, I decided that this year I would not create an extensive list of resolutions that I would inevitably fail to fulfill. Instead I committed to one and one thing only, not dealing with bullshit for an entire year. It has been over six months and I have to admit that I have been surprisingly diligent and kept my word to a point of exaggeration. I am going to break up my journey into parts now, to give a clearer idea of the loss versus gain balance.
1. Most of my friends had to go
You see what you focus on which is precisely why it was only after my resolution that I truly saw all the bullshit my friends were putting me through. A revelation, God came down to the Earth and pointed his finger saying that I am a complete delusional idiot and that people who only call me when they need a favor are not really awesome buddies to have. Duh. One by one they went. One girl friend demanded I come and do something for her way past my bed time before a heavily-loaded work day because she just couldn’t make the time in the previous two months. Yes, sixty days and I had to do it right and than. Yicks. Still the record deal was made when I realized my best friend had completely ditched me for her Prince Charming on a white horse which later caused a series of unfortunate events. I sill kept some friends, don’t worry, but those are the ones that would do just about anything for me, with obvious reciprocity.
2.I stopped bullshitting myself.
This is the one I think I will be working on for the rest of my life, but hey, at least I see a significant progress. There were times when a colleague would ask me if I wanted something and I would kindly decline in order not to cause any trouble for them. To hell with that approach. Now that someone asks me what I want to do I devote a great deal of energy into making sure my response is honest and real. If someone is offering a choice or a favor, they must know the consequences of such. If they don’t actually want to commit to it they are simply bullshitting themselves. That also goes for all kinds of me-time issues. I don’t force myself to pretend a chai latte is just as good as coffee because it is healthier for me. I take the biggest cappuccino they have and walk out of the place like the total girl boss I want to be.
3. I work more and have better results both at school and work.
Being a student and having a “big girl” job is at times challenging. The most important aspect of keeping both things going well is definitely not believing the bullshit of tired. No honey, you are not tired. Your brain in probably fried and you might be excessively fantasizing about sleep but it is just like the hunger you have even though you have just eaten only because there are those delicious, chocolate, lactose-free ice cream in the freezer. So I put my hair up and push myself studying just five pages more, grading just ten additional papers or staying in that yoga pose for just another thirty seconds. Guessing how that idea has been working out? I have hardly been sick, and only in the winter, I made more money than I did before and my GPA is just so pretty I want to tattoo it on my back. Bam! Tired is officially a rebuked myth. Or at least not a reason not to do more.
4. I have more respect for myself
We hear over and over again that the most important relationship is the one with oneself. I will not get all philosophical on you trying to prove otherwise. It it true and while that every relationship has many aspects and multiple components, respect is certainly the vital one. Why do I refuse to drive somewhere far for my friend sometimes? Because I might have my period and feel like snuggling under a warm blanket with a glass of wine, reading a marvelous book. I respect the time I have with myself and don’t compromise my priorities unless someone is in actual need. The friends that stayed during my rampant BS cleanse understand and continue to be supportive.
5. My dog listens to me. No. Seriously.
I have a Prague Ratter which is pretty much a Miniature Pinscher but the size of a chihuahua with less barking but equal stamina. This tiny creature has to run for about an hour a day on top of whatever walks we go on. In the beginning she did whatever her little heart desired with me and her terrifying noises were her secret weapon. She wanted to get on the bed, she sounded like tortured cat. She wanted me to carry her, she teared my jeans into pieces. Walks were a nightmare and all together I was her pet and not the other way around. When I came back to Europe after winter break I immediately signed us up for training and six months later, she is a dream dog.
All in all not dealing with bullshit just means being more true to oneself and following the path that really should have been followed in the first place. I accomplished more than I thought I would during the past semester and I fully intend to carry on and see what else is going to unfold before me. While awaiting future revelations I encourage you to go on a similar bullshit cleanse. Totally worth it.
Rosie Baez is a sociology student living abroad in Europe, teaching English and traveling the world in a fearless quest to see all of it while reading and writing as much as it is possible in 176 hours each week has. You can follow her here on Instagram!